To the girl who gave it her all and didn't win, I see you.

Photo credit: Amanda Lauren Photography

Vince Lombardi once said, "It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you're not a winner."

Winning takes a combination of persistence, resilience, discipline and tenacity. But not winning, that takes courage.

I recently won my first pageant in my fifth year of competing. Falling four times and getting up five, well, that took courage.

After years of competing and not winning, I learned some valuable lessons. Each pageant taught me something new, and provided me with new insight. It gave me a new lens to see myself through.

The most important lesson I learned is that no one else's belief in you is going to get you anywhere unless you believe in yourself first.

After four years of competing and not winning, it took the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." It took courage to face all of my sponsors and supporters who believed in me, who told me I would win, and tell them that I didn't. It took courage to see each pageant as a lesson, not a loss.

It took courage to be happy for the girl who did win, to stand by her side and support her, even though I was often confused or upset about my placement. I learned that it is critical to never let bitterness or jealousy towards the winner take root in our hearts when we don't walk away with the crown. It's hard not to win, but God has a plan, even when we can't see it.

No one else's belief in you is going to get you anywhere unless you believe in yourself first.

I was in college when I competed in my first pageant. Everyone told me I was going to win, and I let it get to my head (even though I had no clue what I was doing!). Needless to say I didn't win, in fact, I didn't even place in the top 15. I was shattered. I had worked my butt off to prepare for the pageant so much that I even staked my identity in it. It was so hard to face my family and friends after. I gave it my all, and I didn't win.

This is one of the most difficult realities of pageantry: giving it your best, giving it everything you have, and then walking away without the crown and feeling like your best wasn't good enough.

To the girl who gave it her all at her pageant and didn't win, I see you.

I have been in your shoes in life and in pageants more times than I can count. But guess what? Your identity should never rest in the outcome of your pageant. Your identity should never be held in your career, your accomplishments, or even the best that you have to give. None of these will ever satisfy.

To be God-centered women, we must keep God at the center of our identity. The women that He created each and every single of us to be is what counts. That is all that matters at the end of the day. You can't take your trophies, degrees, or accomplishments with you when you die, but you can leave a lasting impact on the lives of others through the way you live, love, and how you spend your time.

A true queen understands that with or without the crown she is going to press on and continue to live a virtuous life that inspires others to do the same.

God made you unique and beautiful for a purpose. He has a bigger calling on your life that is so much greater than anything you could ever ask or think (the Bible promises us this in Ephesians 3:20-21). Sometimes that purpose includes winning a pageant, and sometimes it doesn't. Learn to be ok with the outcome no matter what it is, because after all, someone is always watching. Your reactions and response to the outcome leaves a lasting impact on others who are looking to you as their leader, never forget that.

To be God-centered women, we must keep God at the center of our identity.

When you allow yourself to give it everything you've got, no matter how you feel, and to keep showing up for God, for yourself, and for others, that is when you will inspire others. Crown or no crown, this is a true queen.

When I didn't win my first, second, third, and fourth pageant, I learned how to keep moving forward. I learned that I didn't know what I was doing, but I also learned how to find the right people who did and surround myself with them. I learned that my best can get better. Ultimately, I learned that it's not about the crown, but about being willing to let God use my journey to influence and impact the lives of others. Because it's not about me, it's all about Him.

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have believed the woman that I would become and the journey that I would be on because of that first pageant experience. Everyone starts somewhere, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

In all of my blog posts I hope to end each one with practical tips on what has helped me to become more God-centered in each area that I discuss. I do not claim to be perfect, and I definitely don't claim to have figured life out! However, I hope to share these tips in hopes that they will help you, or at least point you in the right direction to becoming more God-centered.

• Take a few minutes each morning before you get out of bed to pray and set your intention for the day. Give your day over to God and trust that He will give you the strength you need to face all of life's challenges - especially during pageant prep!

• Write it down! Use a journal, planner, piece of paper, whatever you need to do! Physically writing down your goals for the day will set your foundation and point you in the right direction.

• Start each day with gratitude. I start by writing down 3 things that I am grateful for, even if they are small. It helps shift my focus off my problems and never-ending task list and onto just how blessed I really am.

• Don't let jealousy or bitterness have a place in your heart when you don't win. Being jealous or bitter at the winner for winning is an indicator that you are completely missing the point. If you believe that the crown is meant for you, then when it is your year the crown will not pass you by. Rest in that. Support your sister queen, love on her, and treat her how you want to be treated when you win.

• Give it your all, everyday, even when you don't win. A true queen doesn't give up when things get hard, she presses on. Regardless of your placement in pageants, shine on!

I am in your corner cheering you on, just keep moving forward and keep God at the center. I see you, and God does too.

God-centered women - may we know them, may we raise them, may we be them.

Shine on queen,

Lisa